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Unloved
by
Lisa Cimorelli
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My legs are too thick and then they're too small I'm everything I hate and then I'm nothing at all I want him to see me, I want him to stay But if he says he wants me I will push him away I skip my dinner, I paint my face He picks me up, we stay up late I close the door, I've lost my way So I drown myself in pain The food, the clothes, the boys, my drugs I push it down, I lock it up So many ways to waste my time I use it all to dry up the flood It's only 'cos I wanna feel loved I feel so unloved I search for a high, a way to get by They'll judge no matter what so I don't really mind I'm never enough so I act like I'm tough But on the inside, I just wanna cry I weigh myself, I stuff my face I'm half alive, I'm so ashamed I kiss him once, I feel nothing So I do it all again The food, the clothes, the boys, my drugs I push it down, I lock it up So many ways to waste my time I use it all to dry up the flood It's only 'cos I wanna feel loved I feel so unloved They judge me like we're not the same At least I know, I'm in this game We run, we hide, we feel, we cry You can't deny, you feel the pain Distractions won't take it away The food, the clothes, the boys, my drugs I push it down, I lock it up So many ways to waste my time I use it all to dry up the flood It's only 'cos I wanna feel loved Yeah, I feel so unloved
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