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One Bad Apple
by
Lin-Manuel Miranda
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It was moments before high noon in Cold Creek. The sun was a-blazin’, the townsfolk were nervous… And down on Main Street, a frankfurter and an apple prepared to face off They both Looked CONDIMENT (Bird call, bell ring) Frankfurter: Ready? Apple: Ready Pickle Jar: Draw Where do I start? All of this is dreadful You want some negative words? I got a handful Of rhymes. That are terrible and wicked And I can make the terrible terrific when I kick it! Wh-wh-wicked, I can flip it in reverse and: Makе it wonderful without a need to rehearsе it! Take ya head full of dreadful and make it dreamy I can turn your sadness into smiles when you see me Oh, leave me alone! I think this place is awful You're a frankfurter while I prefer a falafel Every waffle, every frozen food is horrendous And this is going from awesome to stupendous! When this started, see, I knew you were resilient More like resentful See? That's brilliant! WHAT? Bad Apple, gimme another word I can make it positive, rest a**ured! Jealous. Joyful. Repulsive. Refined! Gross. Great! What else you got on your mind? This is dumb! It's divine, I'm delighted you visited! MISERABLE. That's a little magnificent, isn't it? SPOILED. Sparkling! LOUSY. Laughter! We could live-- HORRIBLY! HAPPILY EVER AFTER!
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