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Cabinet Battle #1
by
Lin-Manuel Miranda
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Lyrics
Ladies and Jefferson! You coulda been anywhere in the world tonight, but you’re here with us in New York City! HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEORGE– The issue on the table: Secretary Hamilton’s plan to assume state debt and establish a national bank. Secretary Jefferson, you have the floor, sir ‘Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.’ I fought for ideals; I shouldn’t settle for less These are wise words, enterprising men quote ‘em Don’t act surprised, you guys, cuz I wrote ‘em HOW! But Hamilton forgets His financial situation is, uh, state’s debts Now, place your bets as to who that benefits: ...Symbol- by Hamilala! Not–not true! Ooh, if the shoe fits, wear it If New York’s in debt— Why should Virginia bear it? Um! Our debts are paid, I’m afraid Don’t tax the South cuz we got it made in the shade In Virginia, we plant seeds in the ground We create. You just wanna move money around This financial plan is an outrageous demand And it’s too many damn pages for any man to understand Stand with me in the land of the free And pray to God we never see Hamilton’s candidacy Look, when Britain taxed our tea, we got our whiskey! (Wait, no) Imagine what gon’ happen when you–– (Wheeze laugh in slow motion) THAT'S MY ALCOHOL!!! (laughing) We got our whiskey! Thomas. You have a nice declaration– We’re running a new nation! Would you like to join us, or stay mellow Doin’ whatever the hell it is you do in Monticello? If we assume the debts, the union gets A new line of credit, a financial diuretic How do you not get it? Are you, and–– The union gets a boost. I'd rather give you a sediment! A civics lesson from a slaver. Hey neighbor Your debts are paid cuz you don’t pay for labor “Yeah, we plant seeds in the ground! We create.” Yeah, keep ranting You wanna make money more We know who's really doing the planting. Lower a glass to slavery! ––man? We almost died in the trench While you were off getting high with the French Thomas Jefferson, always hesitant with the President Man—there–eh, he doesn't get it! Madison, ah, mad as a medicine man, ah MOM! Damn! Damn! Damn Sittin’ down. I'm not. Soup. Yeah Hey, turn around, bend over, I’ll show you Where my shoe fits On your back! (Laughter.) Excuse me? Madison, Jefferson, take a walk! Hamilton, take a WALLK! [HAMILTON} Take a "wallk'?! You don’t have the votes You don’t have the votes Ha! Where's my glasses? You’re gonna need congressional approval and you don’t have the votes Stop clothing me! Such a blunder sometimes I think I wonder why I even bring the thunder Why he even brings the thunder… WOAH! You want to pull yourself together? Yeah...I mean, I’m sorry Burgers– Young man, I’m from Virginia, so watch your tone! I'm myself and I argued with myself and–– Watch your tone No You need to convince more folks We need votes! (Random cut.) You started with nothing, man Well, it's easy young man, living is harder! They’re being intransigent You have to find a compromise But they don’t have a plan They just hate mine! Convince them otherwise How do I convince them otherwise? I guess we'll–gonna remove you from the government! Figure it out, Alexander. That is an order from your commander You can't have this hat back until you figure it out!
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