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Manager to Manager
by
Leslie Odom Jr.
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'Scuse me! Are you Esposito? You the guy I talked to on the phone? Are you the manager? Yeah, I'm Esposito I'm Owen Tillerman, the park manager The park is filling up with trash Yeah I'm not dragging my butt back until you take my filthy stash It's my duty, it's my job to keep the park clean and— Oh my God! This garbage got me screaming! Okay, I just heard my voice, and it was loud—sorry Manager to manager I know we'e at a standstill But I'm down in the dumps and you're the only one Who can take me to the promised landfill You gonna help my associate, or what? Associate? Manager to manager I understand your fear. I mean I don't mind that I smell like trash but you probably think it's weird Look, I'd really like to help you but this isn't gonna work My orders come straight from the mayor and he's being such a... a p*n*s-face Why didn't you just say j*rk? It would've rhymed People have called us officious 'Cause we find the minutiae delicious That's true There's gotta be a way around these jurisdictions To bypass the p*n*s-faced mayor's dumb restrictions Wait! What if we find the right city statute to, you know (whistles) Oh, you mean like a loophole? That's the best kind of hole Manager brainstorm What about Statute 8923? That only applies to waste that is feces What about Statute 6-30? That's from like a century ago That's about polio Yeah, to stop the spread of disease Silly, that only applies to citywide emergencies I should have known that. Wait City Code 1839? Oh my God, section five? Paragraph eight Yeah, fourteenth line It clearly states "In times of environmental crisis The park manager is empowered with the licence To protect health priorities And supersede mayoral authorities." Manager to manager I'm feeling so good about our plan We just managed the crap out of that And a loophole is the best kind of hole I'm so good at helping
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