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Simple
by
Joan Shelley
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It's so simple, you and me It's so simple, you and me We got everything, everything Everything that we need It's so simple, you and me It's so simple, you and me We got everything, everything Everything that we need Item one, subject agrees that human beings flourish When given support and a little bit of space Item two, subject agrees she can't disprove That the government's in contact with an advanced alien race Item three, she agrees shе enters this willfully Four, she acknowlеdges almost everything ends miserably But five, she admits we should be content to be alive Even if I forget her birthday or catch her back porch on fire Item six, parties agree to sleep in shifts Item seven, parties agree we need a security pit Item eight, it is worse to be early than late Better distant than fake, better a loner than a flake Item nine, she agrees to not take pictures of me when I am bored And show them to me later when I am still bored Item ten, she agrees our culture is too clean There's too much trust in machines and discourse is too mean Also, she admits the right path is hard to foresee Especially with lizards everywhere controlling our dreams So when she finds me on the floor swaddled in existential doubt She agrees to remind me we're all equally freaked out It's so simple, you and me It's so simple, you and me We got everything, everything Everything that we need It's so simple, you and me It's so simple, you and me We got everything, everything Everything that we need Item 11, subject agrees we are not ready for children But more importantly, they are not ready for us Item 12, subject agrees to tell me my hair sucks If it sucks, and not be diplomatic or ambiguous Item 13, she agrees not to try to convince me That psychics are interesting in any way And 14, she agrees that we need to delete Any correspondence that mentions our names or birthdays (It's so simple) Subject agrees in full with the following critical a***ysis of Short Circuit 1 and 2: 1. Ostensibly an a***ogy for the dangers of the military industrial complex, the film is less about robotics than it is about respect for the mystery of the self 2. Therefore the underlying message is that the free will of a self-possessed soul, however wretched, should trump the interests of a collective hierarchy, however strong 3. Spoiler alert: Giving citizenship to a robot with a soul implies the world of the films has acquired proof in the dualistic nature of that self And 4. Despite the absence of Steve Guttenberg and Ally Sheedy and the inherent deficiencies of a blockbuster sequel, the supporting cast, location, and 5's character development make the second film superior to the first But we got each other and that's all that we need We each got a lover and that's all that we need We don't need any other 'cause our love's guaranteed Sign on the line, baby, this contract is our love decreed Item 15, subject agrees to not force moments of linear reflection i.e. broad causal factors for a perceived failure 16, she agrees that the attached list of bedroom activities are at least on the table 17, she agrees to not say "begging the question" when she means "raising the question" And 18, she agrees the word homage isn't French and therefore shouldn't qualify for a French pronunciation Furthermore, she agrees the moon landing was faked But only because it's already populated with Mormons Both parties agree life is more interesting If we presume our deaths are already predetermined Also, she admits the right path is hard to foresee Especially with lizards everywhere controlling our dreams So when she finds me on the floor swaddled in existential doubt She agrees to remind me we're all equally freaked out It's so simple, you and me It's so simple, you and me We got everything, everything Everything that we need It's so simple, you and me It's so simple, you and me We got everything, everything Everything that we need It's so simple It's pretty simple Just me and you Did we talk about pets already? What do you- uh what did you say?
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