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Tahiti
by
Jason Robert Brown
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Everybody gets to be dramatic Everybody's always slamming doors Tell me Stanley, have you ever noticed It's always their turn, never mine or yours? Always have to smooth the ruffled feathers Angry words that feel like an a**ault Everybody's acting like an a**hole Yet somehow it turns out to be my fault Oy gevalt I wanna go to Tahiti Wander in the sultry air Swinging slow in a hammock A calla lily in my hair Say goodbye to all pressing world affairs My girdle and my cares My coat and gloves and hat Barefoot all day long In a silk sarong So what's so wrong with that? Life's serene in Tahiti All the sunshine you could wish No one cares about show biz The only biz there is is fish I'd sit and eat a bowl of fruit In my birthday suit In a hut right by the sea Boca can be nice But it's Tahiti for me (spoken) Dance with me, Stanley. Riddle me this. How come when something goes south with a kid, they always blame the mother? Who should they blame, the mailman? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. F**k you, Stan. (sung) Aye aye aye Me and my Miami tan (spoken) Come on, Stan. Aye aye aye I could be a model And pose for Gauguin Paint me there in Tahiti I won't touch any pans or pots Hang me in a museum (Whoa!) That would make my girlfriends plotz They're gonna crying for my name But I won't be there to blame For their pain and misery Mama's breaking free It's Tahiti for me Tahiti-bound Where the mai tais are on tap And no one's giving me crap Nobody's around In my hut right by the sea It's Tahiti (spoken) Stan, I think I'm having a nervous breakdown. (sung) It's Tahiti for me!
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