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How To Write A Song
by
Harry Nilsson
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Lyrics
If you write it on guitar Place your guitar upon your knee If you write it on piano Don't do that Place your fingers on the Strings of your guitar Not your piano If you write it on piano, don't do that Now strum or press to get a feeling This might take a little time Now think of something sad or something funny Which inevitably brings us to the rhyme Let's assume you're just an asshole And there's nothing in your brain It might help if you remember These helpful little hints Don't try to rhyme silver with anything yeah That goes for orange as well Now notice how cleverly I just used them both And all I have to do Is rhyme well You've got to be very tricky 'Cause to avoid these words takes talent So never ever trap yourself like that Or you'll end up saying words like ballent, phallant, dallant, wallant, callant, hallant Oh well, I'm sure you'll catch on fast! Now some tips on tempo And some subjects to avoid Like the use of the word baby Unless you really have to say it As to tempo or as we say time That's strictly up to you because That depends on how you play it Now let's do one! Now think of a rhyme! That's it, you're doing fine Now think of the good time We just had together If you practice these instructions On the boat of song you'll sail And if you listen very carefully I'm sure you shallant fail I said sallant, yeah shallant! That rhymes with talent! That takes talent! That is talent! Oh oh my god, I've done it again Shallant rhymes with talent That takes talent! That is talent! OH I can't stand it Oh my god I've done it again
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