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Cry in Church
by
DMX
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Rather feed my soul, rather be alone Rather be a daydreamer, rather be a real one In the backseat, Maybach with the driver Movin' like a trap n***a, gotta stay in low-low I'd rather live lawless with a lil' b*t*h That I buy all of the sh*t even though it's on discount Rather be a poor man with a lil' affection Everybody wanna feel special I'd rather be broke as hell than rich and sitting all alone I'd rather be hand-in-hand, I just can't do it on my own I'd rather be good inside than livin' happy on the outside (Ooh) I'd rather be broke as hell than rich and sitting all alone 'Cause how I'm gon' pay my bail if no one's pickin' up the phone? I'd rather be good inside than livin' happy on the outside (Ooh) I could be difficult sometimes But that come from the eagle in this mind of mine My self-esteem could make a n***a emo The hate could come from love and baby, we know I'm my only lover, I'm my only friend Working on my flaws, I think I'm clocking in I'm my only weakness I hope I'm off on the weekends I'd rather be broke as hell than rich and sitting all alone I'd rather be hand-in-hand, I just can't do it on my own I'd rather be good inside than livin' happy on the outside (Ooh) I'd rather be broke as hell than rich and sitting all alone 'Cause how I'm gon' pay my bail if no one's pickin' up the phone? I'd rather be good inside than livin' happy on the outside (Ooh) Sometimes This ego in this mind of mine Mm, ego We know Don't ask if I need a tissue, I don't need no f**kin' tissue These ain't tears, they're just something in my eye So please don't press the issue Please don't press no buttons One of these things for self-destruction Forgot which one, I ain't read instructions That right there is the key to my suffering Mama ain't home, five years old Blue's Clues raised me, Cheerios saved me Porno stepfather hid is what changed me He ain't do a good job, he was too lazy While y'all was in daycare, I was in Jay care No lace front, this truth, no fake hair I wish you ain't had me at nineteen, I'd probably grow up better I wish you would talk to me nicely, I probably would love better I wish you would read to me every night I probably would read more And all of this pain on my back gon' be havin' me lookin' like Igor I put all the hurt in this art of mine Yeah, it's one more thing on my mind Just maybe a couple of lullabies Was all that I needed to fight all the demons, my spirit is beatin' Let's pray Father God, I am just learning how to pray—bear with me First, I thank You for the life of everything here with me Then I thank You for the love you give me, why? I don't know, I don't deserve it and it hurts inside Many a nights I cried and called Your name out loud I didn't call You when I was doing good, too proud And still, You gave me love, I wasn't used to that Most of the people that gave me love ended up takin' it back It's something new to me So I'm askin' You for time to adjust Let me make it there, I will be the one You can trust What I stand for, I put my life on, I do I guess what I'm asking is, show me how to stand for You Hush, little baby, don't you cry Mama's gonna sing you a lullaby And if that lullaby don't work Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird
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