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The Prequel
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Yeah, what am I but a cry for help? I don't care you like me, I don't really like myself At times I've felt my mind could melt Cause I get too hot-headed & I'm tempted to tie the belt Might as well, the meds ain't workin I can feel my f**king head veins bursting I turn to the drink to suppress pain's burden Certain that imma spend the next day hurtin The best brain surgeon, couldn't fix the damage I've done What have my bad habits become? You wanna talk about stress? Yeah I manage a tonne I'm wishing I knew a magician cause I just wanna vanish at once Rapidly run from the thoughts in my head Another night where I'm pouring a Teds as I watch a Ted Talk & it's four in the morning Ignoring the yawning, I'll snore when I'm dead & I'm bored of it, bored of regret I'm torn by the torment, I'm sure that it's spread I can sense that my friends have been caught in the dread I should tell my girl how I feel more but instead I just hide it So she gathers that I'm fine But she'll know when my brain matter splatters on the blinds That my mind's scattered, you can see it scattered in my rhymes People will look back & say my rapping was a sign that I didn't know what to do Got a lot to prove but can't move when I'm lost in booze Even though he got lots of views, he never made it to the level that he wanted to It's like I want to lose I treat friends like imposters too & treat my missus like a prostitute I'm a monster dude, obnoxious, rude, I boxed with doom I think I'm due for a date with the doctor soon, yeah It's like my world has shifted, my health is sh*t It's self inflicted, if Sheldon's sick then Shell can fix it Should of went & got help when I felt addicted, what a coward I'm a slave to a substance & I've been making assumptions Thinking my mates have been judging me lately Maybe they ain't been, maybe I'm making it something it's not But it's f**ked up isn't it? I'm much much quicker just to trust dumb idiots that I can get f**ked up & just chug liquor with than my own missus I'm a drugged f**ked hypocrite This is it, just a man in a rut, clutching my hand to a cup & I feel like my plan to erupt's been abandoned & cut & I'm just too stranded to bandage it up (Tough luck) gotta think who's to blame Who's the one who chooses to bruise his brain? Who's the one who chooses to lose his aim? Who's the one who uses the booze for pain? It's all me Yeah, I'm in charge of my own fate I've thrown hate as I'm starving with no plate Was so close to path I should go take Then I slipped off as it started to rotate My bones shake from my anxious thoughts I can't walk from my anger, the anguish stalks My anxiety's a gangster with fangs & claws I just wanna kill it & shank its corpse, but I'm tanked of course Not sure if I'm meant to resume, so again I just vent with a sensitive tune As I think about ending it soon & I picture my family & friends as they enter the room
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