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Scorekeeper
by
Christian Lee Hutson
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I say I'm angry at myself But I'm not sure that it helps you In a dream I leave without saying goodbye I am walking down the street alone I wanna call him, then I freeze I can't fathom another lie It takes all my strength and will To suppress these feelings all the time So I shut off without a reason To disengage, to reply And then I beg myself to write it down I don't need to prove 'nothin I just need to get some of it out You knock on the door as a friend My heart drops again It feels like the room is shaking I hide myself in a closet (I hide myself in a closet) Just as scared as I am excited (Just as scared as I am excited) Far more unsure Than I've ever been The further that I get in time The more I believe I crossed the line (I crossed the line!) You played a game with my mind I wanna comfort like a child Don't listen to me right now So I can crawl out of this house You knock on the door as a friend My heart drops again It feels like the room is shaking So I hide myself in a closet (I hide myself in a closet) Just as scared as I am excited (Just as scared as I am excited) I'll never lose him If I pretend there’s more And it seems like the older I get The more I become lenient To this kind of behavior I should never allow But I'm not the scorekeeper I just observe and learn The warm blanket of anger Covering all my fears And I'll never let you down I just need to drown him out You wake me from my nightmares Kissing away my tears
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