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Playing Dead
by
Christian Lee Hutson
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Sitting in some hotel bar in Oregon I know I shouldn't risk my health but if I could forget myself then maybe I could fix how I've been sleeping I listen to the way I speak to strangers It probably isn't worth remarking but I swear that once I was charming and now my conversations all get heated I just made myself laugh to think I once a**umed that I knew better than my mother Let me shed awful costume [?] Every word I said that made the ones I love upset I've spent too long playing dead I'm old enough to know that I know nothing Though I cеlebrate merе speculations innocently I believe them, I'm still young enough to trust my feelings I tell myself to recognize my failings The useless lies I hide behind, hell, I'm too shy to meet your eye I tell myself that maybe I should stay clean I just made myself laugh to think I once a**umed that I knew better than my mother Let me shed awful costume [?] Every word I said that made the ones I love upset I've spent too long playing dead Didn't kill me but I don't feel stronger from toxic thoughts, my minds a train that can't be stopped I'm not sure that I can handle it much longer I just made myself laugh to think I once a**umed that I knew better than my mother Let me shed awful costume [?] Every word I said that made the ones I love upset I've spent too long playing dead
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