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The Mechanical Girl
by
Aurelio Voltaire
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In the court of Augestine the 12th The king reprimanded his men and demanded They put to good use all his wealth To cure his deep ennui For you see, he found that he was sad and lonely Ever since his wife, the queen, got mad And rode off on his steed In a glen beyond the castle wall There was a tinker and he was a thinker The smartest man in all the world: He made a mechanical girl For you see, his daughter passed away last summer And though he knew he could not replace her He missed his family Suddenly a knock on the door went rat-at-tat-tat And the king's men came in blowing horns: Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba "By order of his highness we're to take and that...thing To present your marvel to the king" And so, over glen and through the castle walls Over the moat and into the great castle hall When her master urged, the robot girl emerged When the king laid eyes upon the girl He was delighted his men all were knighted He yelled aloud for all the world "I'll take her for my queen!" And the man screamed "Please don't take my child! I beg you mighty king!" but they grabbed him by his tailcoat And threw him in the moat Later in their wedding bed the king was shocked to see A tender kiss upon the cheek unleashed an armory Rocket Launchers and flamethrowing guns Grew from her sides And she grew to seven times her size! RUN! On the morn of August 24th He was dejected when lest he expected A knock was heard upon the door It was his robot girl For you see he made her her indestructible it seems And she destroyed that awful kingdom And they lived happily So you see, the moral of the story is: Never take a child away from a loving parent.... Especially not ones who make children who shoot rockets from their eyes
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