Correction Lyrics Meticulous Analysis of History by Animaniacs

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Lyrics

Through meticulous analysis of history
I will find a way to make the people worship me
By studying the conquerors of days gone by
I'll discover the mistakes that made them go awry

So that you can make the same mistakes if you just try

By studying the past so carefully
I won't repeat the same mistakes of history

You'll never make another mistake, you see
'cause you'll fall asleep from reading all that history

Pay attention, Pinky

When Cleopatra reigned as Queen
With Roman leaders she was often seen
But when she had no ruling friend
She found a poison snake to bite her in the end

A bite down there we really wouldn't recommend

I won't need world alliances
When I'm commanding everyone's appliances

Oh, no, Brain, that would really smart
To be bitten on the bottom by a Cuisinart

Hannibal, our book confirms
Tried conquering Italy with pachyderms
Just why he failed, nobody tells
But he never could get past the Roman sentinels

And he couldn't find his weapons in the peanut shells

An elephant is not required
If I can use the media to be admired

The Telescreen as you'll delight
Unless the network puts your show on Sunday night

Attila was a mighty Hun
He ransacked Asia Minor just for fun
But when he got to Europe's banks
He was routed by an army of heroic Franks

I like mine with sauerkraut and mustard, thanks

Why pillage like a criminal
When I can send out messages subliminal

Please send a message to that Hun
To see if he can pillage us a hot dog bun

Caligula was no boy scout
He did things that we can't even talk about
The Romans knew he'd lost his head
When he filled a vacant Senate seat with Mr. Ed

What's wrong with being friendly with a thoroughbred?

Why rule like such a reprobate
When I can put the world in a hypnotic state?

When everybody's in a trance
You can make the people do a chicken dance

Pinky, if you don't stop this foolishness, I shall have to hurt you

In France, Napoleon Bonaparte
Thought beating Austria was very smart
But when he took on England too
He was beaten up by Wellington at Waterloo

And now he's just a pastry filled with creamy goo

Why conquer with depravity
I'll win the world by undermining gravity

And even if your plan falls through
Maybe they will name a pastry after you

From Genghis Khan to Charlemagne
From Alexander down to Tamburlaine
I find a ruler's tragic flaw
And gain a little wisdom out of each faux pas

Don't forget the former Governor of Arkansas

That concludes my little rhyme
I hope this lesson wasn't just a waste of time

Well, Brain, I've learned that one thing's true

Everyone of them has failed, and so have you

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